Don't Drink and Drive

Thread: Don't Drink and Drive

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  1. #1
    Member AndyC's Avatar
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    Don't Drink and Drive

    Who ever parked this had one too many.



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  2. #2

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    Re: Don't Drink and Drive



    I always liked the expression "Don't drink and drive - you might hit a bump and spill the drink!"

    Paul

  3. #3

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    Re: Don't Drink and Drive

    Reminds me of an old joke.....

    A husband and wife are driving home after a wedding, and they get stopped by the police. The officers tells the man that he was speeding,

    "No" said the man, "Never", Prove it"

    The officers says "I clocked you travelling at 46mph, the limit is 30"

    "No way" said the man, "This is never a 30 zone"

    He argues with the cop until his wife leans over and says to the cop....

    "Sorry about this officer, you're right, and he's wrong...... he always argues like this when he's been drinking!"

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  5. #4
    GJ
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    Re: Don't Drink and Drive

    Kind Regards,
    GJ

    It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.....

  6. #5

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    Re: Don't Drink and Drive

    Time for just one more.....

    Cop pulls a guy over for speeding, and writes him a ticket. The driver rants and raves at the cop, going on and on about how he pays his wages, he knows the Chief, he'll have his badge, he's being picked on, the cops are dirty, and so on.

    The cop takes it all in his stride, but after more verbal abuse and the guy saying he won't pay the ticket, the cop leans right into his face and snarls through his teeth "Well if you don't pay the ticket, I guess I'll see you in court..... a**hole!"

    A few months later, after the ticket was not paid, the matter is in court.

    The cop gives his evidence and the defence lawyer begins to cross examine the cop.

    He holds up the ticket and starts;

    "Officer, I have this ticket here. Can you confirm this was the ticket you issued my client?"

    "Yes" says the cop.

    The lawyer asks him some more questions about the notes at the foot of the ticket.

    "Officer, I see you have made some handwritten notes on the bottom corner of the ticket.... would you care to explain them?"

    "Yes, mainly notes and abreviations to assist me recall things should I come to court, such as weather, traffic conditions, daylight, darkness and so on""

    The lawyer asks the cop about a two letters penciled in at the bottom of the ticket.

    "Officer, I see you have written the letters "AH" at the bottom of the ticket, what does this denote?"

    "Abusive and Hostile, sir"

    The lawyer scoffs and says,

    "Come now officer, does this not mean "A**hole", in reference to my client's behaviour that day?"

    "Well", says the cop..... "You know your client better than me"

  7. #6
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    Re: Don't Drink and Drive

    Before I opened to read this thread I prepped myself for some scary photos and a sad story. What a pleasant surprise I found. Thanks for laughs.

  8. #7
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    Re: Don't Drink and Drive

    Quote Originally Posted by Searambler View Post


    I always liked the expression "Don't drink and drive - you might hit a bump and spill the drink!"

    Paul
    Of course I'm going to drive,I'm to drunk to walk! John Wilson P. S. A line from the 1960's cop show Dragnet.



    "Man fears time; time fears the Pyramids"

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