The De-Luxe LIZAGATOR.
This is like an Oreo cookie with the chocolate on the outside and a creamy white center.
Q: So Jon tell me what you do for a living?
A: I'm a lizard rancher, I grow lizards for the watchband industry.
Q: How many lizard are you growing?
A: Got about 2,000 head in the back 1/4 acre out to pasture as we speak.
Q: And how do you handle all those lizards?
A: Got me some lizard dogs, I use chiwawa's myself best lizard dog ever in my opinion.
Q: And how do you train the dogs ?
A: Well that's kind of a trade secret but I start the little ones out on the rubber lizard first kind of drag it along the floor with a sting tide around its neck. The chiwawa likes a lot of quality time with the trainer so I spend a lot of time on my hands and knees.
Q: Sounds a lot like the relationship I have with my wife. Have the reptile rights activists ever visited you?
A: Oh yeah a whole bunch of them show up one day they looked mad but they took one look at the lizards and chiwawa's and got right back in their cars and drove off, didn't say nothing.
Q: So what happens when the lizards are fully grown?
A: Well me and the dogs herd them into those holding pens over there.
Q: Those holding pens look a lot like the plastic swimming pools they sell at Walmart for children.
A: You're not going to print that are ya?
Q: And then what?
A: Well after the lizards shed their hides (wink) we cure the hides on those stretching racks over there.
Q: Those stretching racks look a lot like chopsticks pushed into the ground.
A: Yep I tried pool cues but they was just to big and clumsy for lizard hides.
Q: And hows your relationship with your neighbors?
A: They don't mind the lizards at all, a lizard is a quiet reptile they mostly keep to themselves.