Let's come up with some totally b.s. watch features

Thread: Let's come up with some totally b.s. watch features

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  1. #1
    Member Caraptor's Avatar
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    Let's come up with some totally b.s. watch features

    Okay, you've all seen the ads for watches that are hyped to be better than they truly are, where the description is very, uh, optimistic. "Swiss gold electroplating" for example.
    I thought it would be fun to come up with some super ridiculous features for a pretend watch.

    • Swiss-grade enteric coating
    Caraptor

    The man who buys a particular watch to feel smarter or better than other people and the man who avoids a particular watch to feel smarter or better than other people are brothers.

  2. #2
    Ozy
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    Re: Let's come up with some totally b.s. watch features

    Unobtanium balance wheel on a pneumatic pivot and glazed with sub zero quenched aluminium.

  3. #3
    Member Caraptor's Avatar
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    Re: Let's come up with some totally b.s. watch features

    Medical-grade rubber seals.
    Caraptor

    The man who buys a particular watch to feel smarter or better than other people and the man who avoids a particular watch to feel smarter or better than other people are brothers.

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  5. #4
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    Re: Let's come up with some totally b.s. watch features

    Environment friendly watch. (a Swedish watch company)

  6. #5
    v76
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    Re: Let's come up with some totally b.s. watch features

    Isildur (TM) balance wheel, a bowflex (TM) hairspring, chockabloc (TM) shock protection and a lead iron cage for radiation shielding. Four thousand turns of the crown to achieve the maximum 200 days power reserve (or alternatively, act out the Pete Townshend power chord move for two days running). Wait, that's not all folks! This watch is lumed with a material which can be seen a 100 yards away in pitch blackness!
    Last edited by v76; March 24th, 2010 at 03:55.
    Collection:
    A few of this and some of the other ...


    "I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty" - Groucho Marx

  7. #6
    Member Caraptor's Avatar
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    Re: Let's come up with some totally b.s. watch features

    Genuine Cold War-era Russian lume. (You inspired me, v76).
    Caraptor

    The man who buys a particular watch to feel smarter or better than other people and the man who avoids a particular watch to feel smarter or better than other people are brothers.

  8. #7
    Member Popoki Nui's Avatar
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    Re: Let's come up with some totally b.s. watch features

    Glycogen balance...for extra energy.
    PM is not working for me. If you need to contact me, please email. Thanks! popokinui1(at)gmail(dot)com






  9. #8
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    Re: Let's come up with some totally b.s. watch features

    Awesome thread!

    Lumen Totaliser - records the amount of time the watch has been exposed to light

    Gyroscopic positioning system - ensures the watch head always sits under your wrist, Bruce Willis style.

    Macro camera - records still images and video footage of your wrist

    Combined smoke machine, bubble blower and ice cube dispenser - party anywhere, any time

    Multifunction spring bars - can be used as tooth pics and hair pins

    Terry towelling watch strap - for tennis

    Multifunction clasp - bottle opener and fish scaler
    Last edited by jason_recliner; March 24th, 2010 at 05:41.

  10. #9
    v76
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    Re: Let's come up with some totally b.s. watch features

    A bezel crown - for those bezelaholics (or, does that one already exist?) ...
    Collection:
    A few of this and some of the other ...


    "I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty" - Groucho Marx

  11. #10
    Member Ghostdancer's Avatar
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    Re: Let's come up with some totally b.s. watch features

    Genuine unborn unicorn leather watch strap, water resistant to a depth of 2000 meters and buckled with twice refined, albanian unobtanium, black hills gold filled divers butterfly clasp that is micro adjustable, with divers extension.
    Some mornings its just not worth gnawing through the straps

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