Stumbled across this post by WUS' nikidasi in an old 2012 thread, and it's too brilliant and hilarious not to resurrect and highlight.
The Nine Circles of WIS-dom:
1. First Circle.
- A friend showed you his new watch and you thought, "Hey, maybe I should get a new watch?"
- You joined some online forums, got some opinions on current watches but liked two equally.
- You bought them both.
2. Second Circle.
- You have four watches for the following uses: work, dress, beater, gym.
- You're in denial... "A collection?! Nah, a collection is 5 or more, right?"
- You've just subscribed to International Watch.
3. Third Circle.
- Your 'collection' hit 10 some time ago so you have all the bases covered now: diver, dress, beater, vintage, Mickey Mouse, etc. But you're still looking for another watch.
- You've tried your first 'hand swap' using a bent screwdriver, two cocktail sticks and a Q-tip. "Watchmakers? Pah! How hard can it be?" You now have a 'project watch' box.
- Your wife thinks you're an idiot.
4. Fourth Circle.
-You've just completed your first watch family (same watch in all available colors)
-You know Segal's Law, but you're feeling particularly smug as you've just ordered a Waveceptor (or similar). "Ha!"
-Your total watch count doesn't include 'project watches' anymore.
- When you get out of the shower, the first thing you put on is your watch.
- Your wife tells you you're an idiot.
5. Fifth Circle.
-You wouldn't admit it, but you pick out your watch first and then select your outfit accordingly.
- You have a 'bed watch' and you charge up the lume religiously just before lights out.
- You're on first-name terms with the postman.
- Your wife knows you're an idiot. You agree.
6. Sixth Circle.
- Every morning your Waveceptor (or similar) wakes you up EXACTLY on time and you use a vintage chrono to time your boiled eggs.
- While you wait, you wind 7 manual wind watches.
-You've tried to read under the duvet, using just the lume glow from your watch.
-You own watches without straps.
-Ramon knows your name.
7. Seventh Circle.
-You don't bother keeping your watches running anymore. "It reduces the wear on them anyway, right?"
-You decide which watch to wear based on how close the day/date combination is to being right so you'll have less 'messing about' setting it.
-You've bought your first vintage watch 'too good' to wear.
- Your wife suggests a vacation and you realize with horror that you don't have a 'vacation watch.'
-You spent more on the vacation watch than you did the vacation.
8. Eighth Circle.
-You've bought a watch on the 'Net, and when you went to put it away, you realized you already had one.
-You don't care about the day/date being right anymore. If you need to know the date you look at your phone.
-You associate the word 'vacation' with either Switzerland or Japan.
- You replace your spring bars annually. You've read stories of 'spring bar failure' and the thought alone makes you ill.
- Higuchi-san sent you a Christmas card.
9. Ninth Circle.
- A new acquaintance asks how many watches you have and you said, "Oh, I don't know" -- not because you were embarrassed to say. You really don't know.
- Your wife associates the word 'vacation' with Switzerland or Japan.
- You have a beater worth more than your car.
- You get more calls from watch dealers than friends.
-You have a piece of paper in your wallet that reads, "In the event of an accident, please ensure that my vintage perpetual calendar watch is wound daily."